Fleeting Moments

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I guess you really know it's over when you start deleting saved files, pictures, and music this someone sent you. Okay, okay I wasn't gonna write about this, but it's bothering me and I have nothing else consequential worth writing.
First, I'm not sure what bothers me more the fact that this person has decided to sever even the friendship we had, or that as quickly that he tells me his 'heart is breaking' at the same rate he is able to go to another girl who has piqued his interest. So now, that he can't have what he wanted, i'm useless apparently...oh wait, that is until fall semester starts and he might need help with his Russian homework. I don't need him to talk to me, I don't need his thoughtless "how was your day?" question, for all purposes i don't even need his friendship. I don't need anything from him more so now if ever. I just don't understand what the problem is with having a friendship. I mean, I actually cared for his well being regardless if I benefited from it. i cared about him raising his gpa (what would i be getting out of that? exactly, nothing), and frankly I think I am the only one who actually thought (notice past tense) he could be some one amazing in this world. Whatever, I'm still here to help because I don't do that to my close friends. I don't kick them to the road, or erase them from my friends list, or treat them like a piece of dirt when i can't have something i want. But i don't know, maybe it'll be a good thing for our paths to diverge forcefully.
Second, the fact that he so easily jumped into another's arms really makes me question anything he felt or thought. I mean, either he's weak and she's a rebound and he needed comfort, or I don't know, maybe i have no clue about what's actually going on. The last conversation that we ever had freaked me out- i didn't even know who that person was that was talking. such anger, such rage (maybe the anger management classes aren't a bad idea) it was creepy. I felt that if i had been there in person he would've possibly strangled me.
Okay, so maybe a friendship won't work, but I at least need to know that everything is okay between us. That he is okay, that he will be okay, that his life will develop into something wonderful regardless if I'm not it.That the strand will be cut, but the pearls won't be harmed. I don't want to think back, and realize that 6 months amounted to this last disturbing conversation we had.
I guess I could always make my own closing conversation- more of a monologue.
"hey,
I hope you are doing okay, and i'm sorry how things turned out, i really am...and i hope you are well and enjoying your summer. I guess i just wanted to leave you with that; i just wanted to have a good last conversation to remember.
Bye"

1:10 AM

3 Falling Stars