Fleeting Moments

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I should be finishing up my reading for tomorrow..but today has just been such a long day. Alright, alright, i'm gonna get it out, and put it by my laptop, so the second I'm done with this I'll pick it up. It's not even that interesting. They finally fixed my light so that I'm not sitting in the dark anymore.
I dunno, I'm not lonely, but what's the word...I just want somebody that I like, to hang out with me. Okay, maybe what i'm trying to say is that I want a close friend by me. I'm the type of person who only needs a couple good close friends around me and then I'm set. And it's not that I don't have friends here already, but either they are people I'm with by default or we just know each other superficially. And it seems that people are SO fake here, its revolting. People base conversations on talking about other people or making fun of others. That is definitely not cool with me. Number 1, that is soooo high schoolish. And number 2, if you are talking about other people with me, are you talking about me behind my back? As one guy said at dinner tonight, " We all still have highschool mentalities, just our priorities change." HOW SAD IS THAT?! I can't sit through that, it makes my ears bleed when i hear stupidity like that.
Today, was just so bizzare on top of that. Somebody mistakenly thought I was this girl named Ashley, and when I was riding the shuttle, a shuttle behind us rear ended the one i was on. I mean, aren't they supposed to be certified bus drivers??
On a better note, I finally hooked up my cable, and Emory's cable is awesome! They even have the Russian channel!! But now, I have reading to do...

1:37 PM

2 Falling Stars

So today was my stress day of classes, because on Thursdays I have 4 hour and 15 min classes all back to back. It is intense. I was sooo hungry and my stomach was growling...thank god i found a vending machine.
Anyway, I am really liking it here waaay better on main campus. Not only for the obvious reasons ( and I will post pictures of the gorgeous campus soon!) but even the level of thinking is so much higher. For example, in my 300 level African Economic Development class, the teacher showed a picture of Africa and just started pointing to countries, and the kids in the class just started yelling them out---Correctly. I guessed one right--Congo. I felt kinda dumb, but on the other hand, I like feeling like that because It motivates me to research, do my work, and come up on top.
Okay, and here is the new thing happening in my life. I met this guy back in SF, and I thought he was cute and really intelligent, but I only talked with him for like 10 minutes. And that was it; I didn't see him the rest of my break. So my brother went on this winter retreat thing, and he was there, and they were talking about random stuff, I came up obviously. And that night when i met the guy, it seemed like he wanted to talk to me more, but it didn't, and i kinda wondered about it, and then forgot. Well, on the ride up to Tahoe my brother found out that the guy thought i was 25 when he met me. Obviously I'm not. So my brother talked about me a bit, and told him I go to school in Atlanta, etc. Anyway, the guy might be coming out here in March for a couple of weeks for his job. So that'll be fun showing him around Atlanta. But, he also just got a MySpace account. And i added him as a friend, and sent him just a quick hello message, nothing flirtatious- just friendly...and he immediately replied with a pretty long email. Now here's my thing. I don't even know this guy really-- i mean from what i've heard from my brother is that he is an awesome guy, intelligent, fun, smart, etc. And i read his profile and he sounds amazingly fun. But my whole life (hah!my whole life...that sounds like i'm 35), i've just let guys chase after me and i didn't even put so much as a finger of effort into a relationship. OBVIOUSLY, i've learned....i've learned from that, but then again i don't really know how far I'm supposed to show potential interest. I don't even know if I want to take the plunge. It's been a good 6 months...but do I want to potentially start something?! Aahh, this is where the feelings of "NO YOU DON'T" start wandering in. But i don't know, he seems really great... I mean his story alone is intriguing: lives in Germany, but has Russian parents, just finished college...and in Germany you either have to do some civil service work in another country or go to the army (i think), and what are the chances that he ends up in San Francisco, CA?
I dunno what i'm thinking, what i want to get into....bah!

1:59 PM

3 Falling Stars

Well, i've pretty much finished setting up my new room at the main campus. And i am absolutely loving it here. Except of course for the fact that my dorm hall is a good walking distance away from the main campus. But that's just my lazy butt talking. I am going to get SO in shape here. Just after today, walking around everywhere is already making me breathless. And the gym here is awesome; so I might actually go. Considering i've been to a gym a total of 5 times in my life.
I have a single which makes my life even better. NO ROOMATE. and I only share a bathroom with one other girl. I met her last night, and she seems really cool; so if I do feel like talking to her she's a bathroom away---and not in my face. The peace and quiet is just really relaxing, and I have my easel all set up in my room too, so i can't wait to paint. Hopefully the "peace and quiet" won't get deafening, but right now i'm enjoying it. I saw my old roommate today, and that was kind of weird. She put on this, ohh i'm so happy to see you face....but not. At least the formalities of seeing her again are over.
I'm kind of surprised that metro Atlanta doesn't have a Walmart anywhere close by. I went to Target, but they didn't have half of the stuff I needed. My cable-less TV is just sitting there, staring at me....and i doing likewise. until i get a cable cord. Oh well, I'll just do all of that stuff this weekend.

2:48 PM

3 Falling Stars

I really didn't see this coming, but I think i'm growing a slight obsession with the classics. Not in the sense of reading them, just because they can be slightly dry and redundant. But the movies are something completely different.
I wasn't excited to see the Pride and Prejudice that is out right now, but my mom kept asking me when it was that we were going to go see it. Well, I saw it. And not only am I smitten by Mr.Darcy, but the acting was exceptional. I saw it again today with my dad, and I would gladly see it again for a third time. Not only that, but now I want to go rent Dr.Zhivago, Sense and Sensibility, Wuthering Heights, you name it.
I guess it was that Mr.Darcy who is driving this slight obsession. Or perhaps not him, but how he loved Elizabeth Bennett. I want to be loved like that. He never had eyes for any other woman, but Elizabeth competely bewitched him. He was so often misunderstood as being prideful and pompous, when in reality he was the saintly good samaritan. The scene where it's raining, and they are standing in a great dome, and he tells her he loves her--unforgettable.
Where are the Mr.Darcys of the world? The men who don't throw out their love to just any woman, but save it for the best? The men who aren't afraid to fight for love even if it seems unattainable. Who are relentless in their pursuit.
I want a Mr.Darcy to love me.

11:32 PM

3 Falling Stars

It's strange to think that I don't even have a New Year's Resolution. I mean, I ALWAYS come up with something, and to tell you the truth last year's resolution was a good one: "to stop judging people even on a subconscious level, and to become genuinely kind and sincere to all."
And you know what, to a point I have accomplished that. My judging levels are waaay down, and i've found out what the meaning of real love. When you know what real Love is it causes you to care for people, about what is going on in their lives, their days. And how their hair looks and what their wearing isn't that big of a deal anymore.
Everyone MUST read Blue Like Jazz. This book seriously changed my life...and it WILL change yours. I wish I could order 100 copies and give it out to everybody, because some people will never read anything unless you buy the book for them. I think one of the most important things that I have truly instilled in myself is that I need to treat others as I would like to be treated. I mean, our standards and expectations are SO high for other people, but then for ourselves we let things slide, a bad mood here, a rude remark there, forgetting that if someone spoke to us in such a manner we would be all up in tears.
But to re-cap 2005:
January- second semester started....with 21 units. That was DEATH. I was so frustrated the whole time because I couldn't ever succeed. my aunt died also.
February and March- both were difficult months. Enough said.
April- Spring break for a week did me good.
May- END OF THE SEMESTER. only to find out that my GPA had plummeted. Ouch. [ don't worry, my GPA is back up to it's happy self again]
June- July: went to Russia! This was a life changing trip. I can't even describe in words how enthralled I was by this trip.
August- came back and worked at the coffee shop. The job security I have at this place is phenomenal.
September- back to the hard grind of school....but with a roommate that became the ever pricking thorn in my side
October- My Birthday! lots of nice presents and well wishings. I wish i had a half a year birthday, how much fun would that be?
November- My parents drove out from CA and gave me Boris!!!!!!!!!!!
December- Finished the semester well, and finally came home after 4 months. which by the way, was waaay too long to not see my friends.

So nothing too exciting happened at all this year...looking forward towards 2006, in the hopes that it will bring me good grades, great opportunities, a trip to France....and hopefully an awesome boyfriend ;)
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P.S.- thanks to all of the people who still read this thing. It really means a lot to me to know that somebody finds my life interesting :0)

10:10 PM

3 Falling Stars