How do we know when we've taken somebody for granted? Is it when we realize that they are slipping away from us? Or in talking about them, it dawns on you how much they do for you, how much they care about you. In that moment, you realize that could pass from you. Maybe they'll tell you that they are ready to go and share this kindness with someone else, who will outwardly appreciate it. And then you think what if I had realized this earlier. But in that realization, we have stopped the progression of taking that one for granted.Isn't it funny how we always want things our way, for things to fit the mold of our worlds. What happens when you have to let go of what you want, or how you want things to be? However much you let someone in, when they leave they take back with them what you have given them of yourself, leaving an emptiness. It's like a pie, however much of a piece you cut off, big or small, it's still not complete. Then again you could go through life and never know anyone, and no one could know you, and that's not really living, right? Hopefully, when these people withdraw from your life, they leave a piece of them so you aren't empty; they try to leave with the pie still being whole.
Don't you wish you could tell people sometimes the real why behind certain things. Oh, and they'll tell you, "tell me, you can trust me, i'll understand." But you know you can't tell them, because it isn't about them understanding- because they probably could, but it's the personal battle that you have to carry in your life-physical and psychological. For the time being anyway. And when people tell you that you are "different", yes, thank you very much, i know that...but you don't really know why...you know an aspect of why, a part; i've let you see a piece of the puzzle.
Take for example, health. The fact that I need to go to a doctor soon, cuz i think i might be having a problem- i don't think there is a need to scream that from the roof tops. I don't think I need to tell anybody that per se. Or about my other health problems in general. So don't think that you know, when you don't. When they ask you, how long are you gonna be this way, they have no idea what they are asking about.
Or take for example, that ever since my aunt died, I haven't been the same. I have dreams about death, and i forget that she's dead, and then i remember, and a wave of sadness washes over me. It's not her per se that i mourn anymore, it's the loss. It's the unexpected change that has come. Unwelcome? of course. So when people take the paranoias that you have shared with them lightheartedly, they don't always know; or your weird idiosyncracies are uncomfortably unfathomable to them, they don't know....1:16 PM 0 Falling Stars
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