I wish i still had my epiphanies. That one day. It was like a surge of divine blessing. It's strange I really don't feel anything right now. I'm not sad, not alone, not joyful, not excited. I'm just living. Sometimes i really wish i could become a child again. My mom would tell me that I could never stop smiling. Every little thing amazed me, everything was a new experience. Life was magical. To wake up each day, and discover a newness of life and vibration. Life was pulsing through me. I only knew what good was. I knew nothing but happiness; I had no mask. Come to think of it,I didn't even know what a mask was. I was who i was- I didn't feel a need to protect myself, because to me nothing could harm me. Everything was for me- the universe would protect me.I only knew what truth was, and it was uninhibited by fallacies and abstracts that would try to trick me. Believeing and trusting was more rewarding than questioning. What's the point of questions, when you have truth? Occasionally bad days, were like temporary rain storms, that washed away the soot and dirt, and brought a stronger sun the next day. They never lasted months, and washed so much dirt away that the roots lay bare.We make life so complex and intricate; we weave these complicated webs that sometimes trap us, sometimes rip, sometimes catch raindrops. I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what. Waiting. The last couple of months, I've experienced so many endings. Am i waiting for that new beginning? I can't wait for summer, but at the same time i can't wait for that to be over. Where am I running to? Where's home? Where is my safe harbor? I think of a ship at sea, not lost, just sailing, slightly running low on fuel. Searching for what? that strip of new land? that lighthouse?To save someone lost at sea?Is someone waiting for me? Should i get back to port?9:52 PM
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